Today is a day when it's hard to smile.
It's hard to smile because of the cruddy roads, my husband and I couldn't make it to my Grandma's funeral.
It's hard to smile because my Dad had to go to his Mom's funeral without me, my little sister who came down with the flu and his wife who had a doctor's appointment that couldn't be rescheduled. He has to stand there without the few who he leans on.
It's hard to smile because I can't imagine the aching of my Grandpa's heart who just lost his best friend and companion of 65 years.
It's hard to smile because she's gone and I didn't get to say goodbye.
All day I've been shuffling around with my shoulders sunk low and tears that slowly roll down my cheek unannounced.
But because of God's peace that surpasses all understanding, I was somehow able to smile today.
As Bugsby and I slowly trudged along in the slush on our daily walk I half-heartedly smiled at how cute he was frolicking in the remnants of the snow storm, not caring how wet he got.
Then I felt the sun on my face and I sighed happily as it warmly fell onto my cheeks and nose.
We passed the cutest couple walking along who smiled warmly and waved hello and I was able to smile and wave back.
Then, as I was walking back a woman in a mini van stopped at the stop sign and sweetly smiled at me and let me cross in front of her.
It is so strange how just one small gesture from one human soul to another can give us such peace.
Recently, God is making it more and more clear that a possible ministry in my life is counseling. It's fascinating to me because counseling really is about one human soul to being there help and lift up another human soul. Bearing the weight of life together and helping each other carry the heavy loads and burdens along the journey to heaven.
It's so crazy that when those who are suicidal share what saved them from taking their own life it was often someone else that took just a small moment to wave, smile, or genuinely ask and want to know, "How are you doing today, are you ok?" Wow!
Today I am simply thankful that our heavenly Father has created community and that we have one another to help bear our burdens together. We are never alone and there are always people out there to watch out for us and we are made to bless each other.
It's so easy to get wrapped up in our own lives and to have tunnel vision every day. But really, we are created to have fellowship and to think of others and bless them in small ways, whatever that may be.
In my Grandma's obituary, you can tell she was a woman of fellowship. She was a part of so many clubs and groups! People were important to her. She was involved in so much and made sure everyone around her was talked to, taken care of and felt welcomed. Someday I hope to be as warm and welcoming as her.
Someday I hope to be able to smile at people as sweetly as she did.
