Why I Paid Too Much for Too Little

I have a rescue dog. He's not from a pound, he's not from a shelter, he's actually from Craigslist.

I don't call him a rescue dog to make myself feel better or look good, I call him a rescue because really that's what I did the day I met him.

I wanted a dog and BAD! My husband was going to be gone on many long trips for his job at that time and that meant that I was going to be by myself. I wanted a little buddy to keep me company. I immediately knew a little shih tzu to call my own was a remedy to this problem.

I responded to a Craigslist ad of what sounded like the perfect fit. Young, but not a puppy. Potty trained with all shots up-to-date and current, didn't bark and neutered. The picture on the ad of him melted my heart on the spot and I couldn't wait to meet this little guy!

When we first arrived the people didn't let us in their house. "That's a little weird. . . " I thought but kept on talking to the owners.

When the owner brought him out of the house my heart broke. He was skinny and had matted fur. As I kept talking to the owners about him more and more I found out that they had actually lied about almost everything in the ad.

He wasn't neutered.

He had never been to the vet.

They had no clue how old he really was.

He was potty trained. . . kind of.

They went inside so I could play with him outside in the 90 degree heat. He was panting like crazy and had the thickest fur I had ever seen on a little dog his size. He needed to be groomed and bad. He was so shy. So, so shy but stayed close to me anyway. He was showing obvious signs of abuse.

They wanted $300 for him. I kept rolling over the thought in my head that $300 was the same amount I would pay for a puppy that I could train and start from scratch. One that hadn't been abused either. My instinct told me this was a scam and he wasn't worth the money at all. I was furious these people had lied to me about his condition and I didn't want to give them any money whatsoever. I started to walk towards the door to tell them I was going to pass but my heart kept telling me it was wrong. I got to the door and lifted my hand to knock but stopped. I couldn't do it. I had to take him home. I couldn't leave him here where he wasn't being fed, walked, loved, played with and taken care of. I had to take him home. I didn't care how much money he would cost me or how much time and effort it would take to get him healthy and normal. I knew I would never forgive myself if I didn't take him with me.

I knocked but this time with intentions of taking him home. I finally haggled them down to $200 (still WAY too much!) and walked away with a scraggly, dirty, scrawny puppy in my arms but I felt like I was a 6 year old girl getting her first puppy all over again.

As soon as I got him in the car I started petting him to calm him down. Matted hairballs, dirt, dandruff, dust and all sorts of other things were piling off of him. He hadn't been petted in weeks, maybe months.

The other day when I was thinking about this story it reminded me of how Jesus redeems us. (Disclaimer, I'm not trying to be heretical by claiming I am a deity in any way. Just go with it :))

Jesus paid way too much for us. We had no benefit to Him. We are scrawny, filthy, grotesque beings at times. We don't deserve the price Christ paid whatsoever. All that pain. All those sins that He bore for OUR own sake is unfathomable to me. Yet He wanted us. He did it anyway. He has a capacity for love that we can't even begin to come close to.

He loves us so. Much. And that love is continually as overwhelming since the day I decided to follow Jesus. In fact, it gets even more overwhelming and I thirst more and more for it.

Jesus knew the price. He knew the cost. He knew He was the hope we needed. He could've easily said no to us. He could've easily passed and walked away.

Bugsby brings me so much joy and happiness. He is faithful and loyal to me. He listens to me. He follows me wherever I go. Even the slightest praise and he goes bonkers.

I wonder sometimes if that's how Jesus views me. Does Jesus find joy when I follow Him everywhere? Is He happy when I do a good deed? Does it bring Him pure delight when I listen to Him and am faithful? That when I see Him, or get a glimpse of Him, I smile and dance at the thrill of such a thing?

I think He does. And I'm so grateful that Jesus chose to pay the price of His life when He could have walked away that day too.

Top 3 Lessons

I'm just going to come right out and say it. This year for Will and I, was really, really, really hard. We struggled a lot with many different things. This was also hands down the most stressful year of my whopping 20 years of life thus far as well. Between a wedding, working two jobs, school full time, my husband being gone most of the summer, then losing his job, then the whole vicious cycle beginning again - it was really hard to see light at the end of the tunnel.

I could go on and try to convince you how hard my life is and how I battled depression on and off and how disappointed I am in myself, but that's not how Scripture tells us to deal with things.

"Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." James 1:2-3

When I look at this past year through a scope of growth I see that I have grown tremendously in many areas. I am a list person so here is a list of the top 3 things this year has taught me:

1. DON'T QUIT. I live in a generation of quitters. School is really hard and you don't see the point? Dropout. Your job is really stressful and annoying but you love it at the same time? Oh just quit and find work somewhere else. You picked up a new hobby and realized how hard and expensive it will be but it brings you joy? Oh just drop it and find something else. All these choices are poor and made on emotional thinking. I realized I quit several things this year because they got really hard and I regretted it every time. Like my mom always tells me: "When the going gets tough, the tough get going!"

2.  MONEY AND THINGS ARE NOT IMPORTANT. No! They really are not! American newsflash! When I first got married my focus was on the wrong things. I thought people would gauge the health of Will and I's marriage by how cute our apartment was, how gourmet all my dinners were that I slaved over every night of the week, or how many fun dates we went on that we lavishly would splash across social media. And oh my goodness is that wrong. I married a man who loves me the same even if he doesn't have any clean shirts to wear the next day to work because I was too tired or didn't have time that week for laundry. He loves me the same if we eat Top Ramen 3 nights in a row because I had school from 8-3 then work 4-9 for the past 3 days. The older I get the more I realize I care very little of what the world thinks and more and more of what God thinks and sees in my heart.

3. PEOPLE AND TIME ARE IMPORTANT. I spent so much of my time working this year and yes, the money was nice. The extra cushion financially was great, but it was soooooo not worth being tired, stressed and burnt out all the time. I missed my friends, greatly missed my family and I missed my husband. Time with people is important. Money is easy to obtain, but time with friends and family is so valuable and we need to cherish that. Taking every opportunity we can to reach out to them and growing deep, rooted relationships with them. The way we spend a majority of our free time shows where our heart is. For me, that was work. My heart was in the wrong place and I'm glad to have it shifted to the right place again. :)

I know some of you are thinking, "Well clearly Lorna I learned these lessons in middle school!" or, "Duh, these are super obvious things about life" and that's nice. Hey, I'm still only 20 and I have a long ways to go. I'm just thankful I have Jesus holding my hand walking side by side with me every day to help pick me back up when I fall down.